kaloythoughts

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Photo on 3-9-16 at 2.01 AM #7

mema-lagay lang

Hindi ‘to planado. Hindi katulad ng dati na umutot lang ako, agad na-i-post ko na dito, na and ending, ako din naman ang magbabasa.

Yup, after a lot of time off from posting here on my WordPress, here I am again.. saying the same exact thoughts of Kaloy: kung bakit nga ba ako nawala ng ganito katagal dito. Oh well, ayoko ng mag-isip pa ng kung anong dahilan, dalawang salita lang naman ang sagot: “People change.”

Marami na ngang nagbago, pati tiwala ko sa pinili kong landas, naguguluhan na ako, I mean, mas magulo. Mas rock. Kasing tigas na ng bato ang pakiramdam ko. Tama pa ba na nasa art industry ako? Nasa industry ba talaga ako in the first place?

Usually, sa parte ng post ko na ‘to, nagyayabang na ako in a very subtle way, achievements dito, travel doon, awards dito, trophy and recognitions doon. Mga artistang ka-rubbing elbows ko kuno at ang masayang buhay ng isang freelance tambay, este, artist (in our own rights ika nga). Pero tonight, I just feel na medyo tumaliwas sa template na ‘yon.

Hindi naman ganun kasama ang takbo ng taon na ‘to sa akin kung tutuusin. Kung paka-iisipin, sasabihin mo siguro, swerte nga ako. Pero baka ito na ‘yung sinasabi nilang quarter life crisis na hinaluan pa ng pagka abstract ng art industry ng bansa natin.

P.S: Nilabas ko lang, next time ko na i-edit.

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Wag kang umulan
mamaya na lang?
‘pag nakababa na,
kapag nakauwi na.

Wag mong ibuhos
dito sa loob ng bus
sa tapat ng bintana
ng mga dating alaala.


Yun lang. Ehe. Again nagbakasakali lang ako… Na what if this is my second chance, na what if you miss me back in sg na what if you love me still? Edi masaya, pero again, I just need to keep reminding  myself that some good things never last.


Mag-isa kong sinindihan
Yosi sa hiram na lighter
Walang bumawal sa akin
Walang sumabay bumuga

Malalim ang mga hithit ko
pero maninipis ang usok
kalat at sabog ang mga abo
paubos na ‘to, mauupos na.


Ayoko ng saktan ang sarili
pero naiisip parin kita palagi.
Oras oras, sa bawat pag hikbi
na malungkot, sa mga ngiti
ng saya, sayo parin nanatili
ang wakas ng bawat gabi.

Ayoko ng umiyak, pagod na’ko
pagod na pagod. ‘di mahinto
ang sakit ng biglang paglabo
pagsasamang animo’y perpekto
na bigla na lang din gumuho.
Mga luhang bigla na lang tutulo.


I miss you- kung pwede lang sabihin
bakit mo ako iniwan? Kung mahal mo ako
ang itatanong ko. Kelan kita makakalimutan?



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